Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Reminds me of the idiot who staged his own kidnapping to go out drinking with friends.
Zebediabolical 45
Oh those canny kidnappers. Forcing the hostage to write his own note!
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Comments (85)
the_real_aquaman 5
your husband is a troll
pjfunnybunny 9
Leave a note saying: I've kidnapped all of our money and I'll never release it ever. Bye bitch!
padlockd 9
Postpone it by 10 minutes. That'll show 'em!
KatieMajestic 17
If they're not married yet doesn't that make him her fiancée and not her husband?
gracehi 33
^ I was thinking that too.
jefrey 9
Msg Clear Enough
aminar_fml 1
He 's an idiot !
kgunn93 3
hope he comes back lol
khaoticpanda 28
I hope he was kidding :(
worldclassrager 41
For some reason I find that well (I can't think of another word) adorable...but it looks like to me he has to live with it...