Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML
Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML
Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML
Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging her, she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
One of the many lessons in parenthood: Children can not and WILL not keep their little traps shut!
allmidnighteyes 11
This is when you hide CP on her hard drive
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Comments (121)
teiso_fml 0
You don't bitch about other people to a seven year old! Not to avoid situations like that, but so they don't learn to be hateful, two-faced people! Sorry, but YDI. Seven year olds are not ones who you relieve your burdens onto.
MeiMeiMax 0
YDI, why did you eve offer to help her?
Knollmania 0
You should understand that kids will say anything that you tell them not to do. It is weird, but they often here the "do" in do not. Next time don't mention anything you don't want him to say.
onehotdemon 0
Usually, if you hate someone that much, you don't go running over to fix their computer. And YDI for telling your son something so ******* disgusting. You don't bitch about your ex to a seven year old and go on about how you want her to jump off a bridge. GREAT parenting you've got going on there, you stupid ****. Be sure to come back in a few years and post another FML about how screwed up your teenage son is, and how it's all your fault.
annabelle2213 0
Aww, cute kid :)
djy78usa 0
Coolest. Kid. Ever.
DameGreyWulf 1
Your kid's got a point. Gotta love how kids tend to get this shit more than adults. You hate her, so don't bother with her. There's no "I'm just being nice" about it. If we were nice to Hitler... Not saying you have to scream and call her names, just /don't bother with her/.
Shmoopie4 0
Duh. Kids are always going to repeat what you say at inappropriate times. That's how they are. YDI for not watching what you say in front of him.
Chopperman_fml 0
I'm wondering why this is an FML. You obviously hate her a lot, so what's so bad about her knowing it? YDI for getting your kid involved, but seriously...if you weren't even going to mess her computer up, something's better than nothing.
munchiie_rawksz 0
YDI u obviously should know that u shouldnt be sayin dumb shit like that to your kids...dont u know kids are like human tape recorders ?? dumb ****