Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML
Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML
Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML
Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging her, she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
One of the many lessons in parenthood: Children can not and WILL not keep their little traps shut!
allmidnighteyes 11
This is when you hide CP on her hard drive
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Comments (121)
Flutist 3
One: don't use your kid to make yourself feel better when the ex didn't do anything but ask for help. You could have said no. I don't know if you are still "Friends" or you want to get back with her, but you just screwed up big time. Never tell someone mean things unless you know they will never meet that person. Two: saying those things to your child will only teach him to hate women or treat others like shit. He is going to repeat anything you say because 1) he does not know how to socially "lie" and two he sees you as his role model. YDi
rachelxx 0
well said xx
loto_fml 3
It's understandable that you'd tell your kid you don't like her (understandable, but you shouldn't do it anyway).... but this FML implies that you told your kid you wanted your ex to fall off a bridge. THAT is the questionable aspect of your parenting: you "showing" your kids that it's ok to wish death upon someone.
LilaBear 2
Why did you even tell the kid you hated her? If he's 7 surely you've realised by now that kids don't understand about "socially lying" (as flutist #27 said). Plus do you really want your son to grow up saying those things about women? Grow up. You're his father, not his older brother. Actually, even an older brother should know better than that.
kewl92 0
YDI. why the hell would you tell that to a kid? plus that's a pretty harsh comment, even if it is your ex
fakkumairaifu 14
Serves you right for being a petty asshole, especially if she's the kid's mom.
ChuckWaggon 0
YDI for not saying, "yeah, I have Geek Squad's number right here, they are like 80 bucks an hour or something but..." I've been in the same exact situation (minus the kid) tell the ex her computer problems are no longer yours. This is what I do now. Or straight up ask for some head as payment.
TheTragicReturn 0
"No, that was about my boss! Hahahaha." *smile smile*
lostfaithinpppl 19
Double YDI for not saying no to your ex and for using a kid instead of a therapist.
DuxHuntin 0
The only reason you tell a kid anything like that is if you WANT it repeated. You asked for that one and should have seen it coming!
Punkartmama 0
YDI. You should never say stuff like that in front of your kid. You are teaching him to be a jerk like you.