Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML
Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML
Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML
Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging her, she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
One of the many lessons in parenthood: Children can not and WILL not keep their little traps shut!
allmidnighteyes 11
This is when you hide CP on her hard drive
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Comments (121)
Yourtbn 7
You should never teach your children to hate. And that's precisely what you were doing. Then you taught him to lie about it. Good going.
delfino1604 24
children repeat everything, you should know this by now
stevenmx86 8
Why the hell would you prep a young kid like that? You're a terrible father..
courk94 6
Ha you totally deserved it ! Even an idiot would know not to say such silly things unnecessarily to a child ! LOL
sharpshot380 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Parisgirl34 12
LOL
dhbbabygirl 6
I can understand why people are all like "Oh ydi cause you shouldn't have said it smartass." but uh, I don't see the big deal. Why should it matter? She's your ex right? If you honestly hate her you would want her back soo?
missalice0306 19
He deserves it for talking crap about her to his child. You never involve children in your personal disputes.
Siggy18 5
That's what happens when kids can't lie for you lol
BinaryGuy 22
If you don't like her, you don't have to fix her computer. Make her just go to a local computer repair.
Sacytrl 28
First off, if you're going to rant about someone to a kid, be prepared for something like this to happen.