Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML
Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML
Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML
Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging her, she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
One of the many lessons in parenthood: Children can not and WILL not keep their little traps shut!
allmidnighteyes 11
This is when you hide CP on her hard drive
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Comments (121)
Gavik 0
YDI for going. **** manners, kick a bitch in a pit.
BLNovelist 0
You deserved that so much. First, because you are faking any fondness for her, when there is none. Second, because you are stupid enough to admit that you hate her right before going over there. Third, for teaching your son that being something you aren't is A-OK. Good lesson there, dad! Really teaching good manners there. :| If you don't like her, just cut ties off with her. That's the proper thing to do.
jenniferyoung120 0
i feel like after 7 years of knowing that kids can never keep their mouths shut you would know not to saying anything like that to them.
PhillyFox 0
Why did you agree to fix her computer if you hate her so much? Are you that desperate for money, assuming you get paid.
ColdGold 6
YDI saying that to your kid. Just about anyone can breed, but few can be fathers. You kid isn't your therapist and shouldn't be your buddy. Just what do you think you taught your kid? See above.
Waxy5 2
Yeaaaaaah.... I've come to learn in life to NEVER gossip around children because they always think it's alright to say it around people. It's usually happens to be that person to.
ragsy 7
If you hate her so much, why are you running over to fix her computer?
movies12 0
Why the **** would you go fix her computer than?
FerrariCake 2
Your kid is smarter than you. He's trying to help you see what a moron you are for helping someone you claim to hate.
ygdrassil 17
kids say the darndest things