Today, my wife threatened to leave me for "bodyshaming" our daughter by giving her a bicycle for her birthday. I bought her a bike because she's been asking for one for months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a "fat girl's bike." FML
Today, I heard my wife and daughter arguing. My wife took away my daughter's phone and laptop for being disrespectful. My daughter screamed, calling her mom a fat cow. My wife simply said, "Yeah, well you’re gonna look exactly like me when you grow up!" Now they’re both locked in rooms, crying. FML
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML
Today, I had to take my alcoholic wife's e-bike away from her that I just got two months ago when she was sober and starting a new job. With in one week she was buying vodka and getting drunk again. When I went home for lunch, I found she tried to cut the chain I put around it with a circular saw used for wood. FML.
Today, my wife refuses to acknowledge our kids’ weight problem. When I try, she claims bodyshaming. The last time we went to the park, one wouldn’t get off the bench, the other was too big for the slide, and our daughter got stuck in the swing. They were all so winded they couldn’t talk. FML
Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
She's cheating on you and looking for an excuse to leave while winning money in the divorce.
Iifa 7
Sounds like she is projecting her own insecurities to daughter. Terrible for the child, especially if she heard mommy saying that out loud, then mommy is the cause of body issues. Bike is one of the first freedoms a child can get, it's unfortunate that adults cannot see fun and excitement, and wanting to explore on bike with friends, but only some overthought world issues bodyshaming, so will mommy say same if daughter wants to take dance classes, god forbid she will shame her for wanting to be active in dance, acting or cheerleading, or boxing. It's weird when parents make these comments on underage child who might have found a new hobby
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
She's cheating on you and looking for an excuse to leave while winning money in the divorce.
munchkin77 13
WTAF?!?!
Iifa 7
Sounds like she is projecting her own insecurities to daughter. Terrible for the child, especially if she heard mommy saying that out loud, then mommy is the cause of body issues. Bike is one of the first freedoms a child can get, it's unfortunate that adults cannot see fun and excitement, and wanting to explore on bike with friends, but only some overthought world issues bodyshaming, so will mommy say same if daughter wants to take dance classes, god forbid she will shame her for wanting to be active in dance, acting or cheerleading, or boxing. It's weird when parents make these comments on underage child who might have found a new hobby
D J's MOM 17
is your wife a bit so skinny person? maybe she doesn't like the idea of your daughter looking better than her. the woman has some issues anyway...