Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, I told my mom that my wife and I got her a birthday present, but she won't be getting it until April. That instantly pissed her off, cussing us out calling us cheap worthless selfish bastards. I was about to surprise her that she's finally going to be a grandma. FML
Today, my wife threatened to leave me for "bodyshaming" our daughter by giving her a bicycle for her birthday. I bought her a bike because she's been asking for one for months. FML
Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my upcoming birthday. Mindful of our budget, I said I just wanted to relax at home all day and then get a nice dinner with her. She blew up and yelled that I'm "using my birthday to be a lazy slug." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
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Top comments
cmayer 20
If someone gave me a treadmill, that would be the best present ever.
caveman72 9
Same happened to me. Can't win...
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Comments (45)
Squirrel1256 15
I guess if she doesn't want it, you could always return it, and then keep the money. Obviously since she doesn't appreciate it, you might as well spend it on yourself.
zilla52 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you should have known better
GrinchFu1 27
Big time rookie mistake. That's something you buy together, not as a gift... especially a birthday gift. Birthday gifts should be sentimental and/or romantic. Maybe even playful. Lesson learned I hope... for your sake.
Wizardo 34
We men need a map to explore the dungeon that is the women's mind! Impposibru otherwise...
Zebediabolical 45
You definitely walked into that one, OP.
Kalnus 14
Rule #1: Never talk about her weight. Rule #2: If you think it may come back to her weight in any way, shape or form, see rule 1.
jenaayy 7
I'd be Glad... You don't have to be Fat to Workout, It's Healthy.
jackiemora 18
I should say YDI. You set yourself up for that one. But then again it's a lose/lose. One scenario since she talked about the treadmill she would have been disappointed that you didn't get her hint and bought it for her and scenario number two....well your FML. :/
Fluffydemise 18
Haha, you totally deserved it. There are many things you don't do in a relationship, very high up this list is indulging your wife in weight reduction program's or even discussing the possibility that she could do with losing weight. The correct answer is always to maintain how beautiful and physically fit she is. Even if it's not true. Don't say things like 'you are beautiful to me' or 'I love you no matter what you look like' and never EVER buy your wife a treadmill.
charvisioku 22
Where does it say he wanted her to lose weight? Exercise can maintain weight as well... if my partner got me a treadmill I'd be really happy; saves me getting a gym membership and if anything cardio's good for maintaining weight not just losing it. Not to mention the fact she hinted that she wanted one... OP's wife sounds like a right pain to me. Don't ask for something if you're going to bitch when you get it.
Fluffydemise 18
It's only an Fml so it's not easy to know fully. However, to me it reads like the months of mentioning a treadmill may have been more about seeking reassurance from her husband than him actually agreeing and buying the treadmill. Who knows.
Sandsh8rk 36
Yeah...these things tend to happen.