Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another woman in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said, "Let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML
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Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well you kept your sister safe.
whythankyou 19
"Friend", huh?
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Comments (126)
mokka44 8
Smartest thing you ever did. Better than being an unplanned aunt or uncle.
sassy2085 16
Well at least you know he will be safe,
MSCCG 16
Dude. He broke the bro code.
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Today, my boyfriend went to have sex with me, and pulled out a condom. They're the same weird brand that I know my brother buys. FML"
ishchandan 14
You prevented them from making you an uncle. Good job! You not only protected her, but also saved her from raising a kid at that age. I'm assuming she's a teenager.
Simbaby 23
Hah score!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well, at least it wasn't your girlfriend he was getting lucky with!
Terrynics 8
******* ouch.
capnbzarr 43
Would you prefer he had impregnated your sister? Just be glad they're having safer sex. You don't own your sister.
Dez_Nutz666 3
Is your sister hotter than you? Or what ???
Wakachulak 22
Probably dependent on ones sexual preferences, but as a heterosexual male, I definitely think FRED is less hot than his sister.