Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another woman in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said, "Let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML
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Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well you kept your sister safe.
whythankyou 19
"Friend", huh?
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Comments (126)
SydLovesLacey 18
Well it's a good thing you gave him condoms then.
mattrd_fml 31
I'd rather have a friend as my sisters be and future husband. at least you know and keep tabs on things.
g007_fml 5
I believe your friend has broken rule #18 paragraph 4 in the bro code. Which states no bro should sleep with another bros' sister, mother, brother, or any other relative without at least making sure said bro is ok with the two hooking up. Although I may have to check it to make sure that's the exact rule that has been broken. I am quite positive. The code has been broken
jemiller226 13
What business is it of yours anyway? None.
satanstolemysock 11
Is it really any of your business? Your sister is her own person, as is your friend, so what if they decided to have sex?
mjansing 4
that's breaking the ultimate friend code right there. dump your friend and tell him to back off your sister.
limabeans101029 21
What if his sister likes it?
mcamilli 14
At least it's safe sex?
oilfieldtrashn2 4
Don't be a **** block, I'm sure you've ****** someone's sister too
vlalam 24
that bastard..
Drosophila82 18
You're an enabler of true love, lol