Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
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Top comments
HSOMGF 5
Who tells someone they're pregnant in a text? Don't people talk face to face anymore? Sad and YTDI.
you_failed 15
Wow, what irony! D: I hope you DID have safe sex. If you didn't YDI.
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Comments (140)
k9luver13 0
way to be a weaksauce
aardvarkish 17
ha ha
KILLA_KALI_KUSHh 0
Hopefully she she kidding.
KILLA_KALI_KUSHh 0
*isn't
huzzzzzzahh 2
Time for a pro choice speech!
Fracker 0
I think this is fake. Yes nowadays texting is used more and more, but still news like this cant be sent in a text. its not a Sprint commercial!!!
Sirin_fml 47
But of course! Mobile phone OSs are incapable of sending texts containing pregnancy news, because they are sentient and make conscientious objections to it. You IDIOT. If you make another stupid comment like that, I will have every1luvsboners strap you down and sing Justin Bieber songs into your ears for twelve consecutive hours, okay?
Fracker 0
Yes maam. Sorry. :(
fieldhockyluva24 4
i've heard of guys proposing through texts so just because you wouldn't have a serious talk through texts doesn't mean other people don't.
Nico1929 5
Glad you can speak for the texting etiquette of the cellular community, I feel so much better knowing that texts can't hold serious information... *buzz* Oh hey! A text! ................... well apparently my girlfriend is cheating on me but it's okay because my Mistress just texted me she's pregnant and needs child support.... I thought you said this couldn't happen!!! FML.
Fracker 0
lol^
latingringa 3
I told my babydaddy I was pregnant through a text....
fizzypop14 3
safe sex is late sex betta wear a latex cuz u don't want that latex that that I think im latex
Nico1929 5
Dude you totally missed the play on words there... Try using something other than latex, maybe something similar like "I think I'm late" text. I know Lil Wayne may be an idiot with some of his rhymes but his lyrics aren't that stupid
ktrose 0
"Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex cuz you dont want that late text that "I think I'm late" text." ...
Nico1929 5
^Thank you kind sir, you have restored my faith in the human condition
GLaDOSv1_09 19
Thank you for that recovery, 35. Some people shouldn't be allowed to try wordplay.
birdfreak 24
how old r u? I wonder
andibear95 0
if he's old enough to be giving advice to high school kids about sex, I think he's old enough to have a kid...
Nico1929 5
Just look at it this way, you have an excuse now to play with all your old toys
chanel5829 0
Hey guys.... maybe the condomn broke.... it can happen
omar41 0
haha nobody even congratulated u so Congrats on the new kido hahahaha
Troll1 0
it's not your kid. your gf practices ***********