Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
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Top comments
HSOMGF 5
Who tells someone they're pregnant in a text? Don't people talk face to face anymore? Sad and YTDI.
you_failed 15
Wow, what irony! D: I hope you DID have safe sex. If you didn't YDI.
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Comments (140)
DocBastard 40
So the gist of your speech was, "Practice safe sex or you'll end up like me...giving speeches to apathetic high school kids." Right?
UnanomousGurl 0
Well arent you a perfect example for the students!?
Vonneil 0
Hypocrite.........
sambo1995 0
its not really a fml but its kinda funny :P it wuld b more of an fml if she told u AFTER you gave the speech...
rawrsofi 5
Oh, the irony..
RosiePatosie 0
how ironic.
knewt14 0
haha you are screwed bitch
Lisa89 3
YDI if you haven't been using protection. You had unprotected sex, what else did you think would happen? She sent you a text, she doesn't sound majorly mature though, at least have the decency for a call. Or FYL if you were sensible and responsible and it just happened, time to have a talk with your gf, discuss your future.
TheNewGuy03 29
it's great that you gave the speech, but only in the alcoholics anonymous way. now, you just have to tell your parents. simple, right? |the kid|
sourgirl101 29
I'm sure in your "speech" you mentioned that nothing is 100% and there is still a chance of pregnancy that could occurred (as you clearly demonstrated). If you don't want to risk becoming a parent too soon, you know what not to do. Well....maybe "you" don't.