Today, I gave a carpet shampooing demonstration in a stranger's home. To my surprise, the white expensive carpet was dyed grey due to something in the solution. The owner held me hostage in her house by barracading the door until my manager got there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML
Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML
Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML
Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML
Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML
Today, my girlfriend works for a company that cleans VRBOs, so while she went to see family for a week, I asked her coworkers to come clean while she was gone, even the owner of the company showed up, They deep-cleaned house, but when she got home I got yelled at for a dirty coffee mug on my desk. The coffee was still warm. FML
Today, my very sheltered girlfriend decided to surprise me by cleaning our apartment. Although she grew up with housekeepers and maids, I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t try cleaning the bathroom with both bleach and ammonia. We still can’t go back inside our place. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML
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Top comments
manoverboard 0
Well, if it was THAT expensive, they shouldn't have taken the chance. I said it's their fault.
SadinSherman 16
A job is a job
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Comments (117)
RoflBen 0
Giant dick cockmonster penistermonger
Weil 0
Are you so much of a pussy that you couldn't even keep a woman from holding you hostage? ******* grow a pair.
jackfm5 0
she should of called the cops on you get a real job f her life for having a lame carpet salesman mess up her carpet
alex_vik 1
#13 - Rape is always funny. Unless it actually happens.
NightVisionShoes 0
that's no big deal.
paperfox_fml 0
That's why we spot test! But really she deserved it, what kind of nut buys a white carpet? And #18, can you not even enjoy a comedy website without bitching about people who have different political views than you? You must have a really tiny dick/****.
angelnursery 18
this is why you're single
ziqi92 0
barracading?? thats creepy...
16274692 0
#18..there was no problem to explain, it just didn't work? funny story, must've been awkward. :}
BeefIronAndWine 0
#13: False. Picture Proky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. And, unless I'm missing something, this FML doesn't state the gender of the salesperson or the homeowner.
Liamrb 0
I agree with #3