Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my younger sister is too cheap to buy her own sex toys, so she has been borrowing mine. I clean mine thoroughly after use but apparently she just puts them back in the box after she’s done, while they’re still wet. Not gonna lie, I threw up a little after she'd admitted it. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML
Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML
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Top comments
Bricktothehead 21
You definitely walked into that one.
Eliseopwns 22
Ignorance is bliss, my friend.
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Comments (84)
SheepShoop_fml 20
Different stimulation for different days? Not sure why it's your business to begin with or why people don't understand that sometimes you want something different than the plain old. Why the hell not have a ***** for every damn day of the week, if it makes you happy.
seemo82 19
explanation please ....? ?
joshi42 16
Well, my friend, every woman is like a flute. But only with three holes each. And, as we all know, to get a descent melody from a flute, you will have to use all of its holes.
steve1122 14
Well I can't be the only one that is curious what the explanation was and I can't be the only one that kinda hopes op does a follow up.
emmynoodle 7
Two in the pink, one in the stink.
Rkikkas9713 25
Well why does she? The suspense is killing us!
ligerzero459 24
I'm so sorry. There's not enough brain bleach in the world to get rid of that. There's just some things in this world you never, ever need to know
KingBobtheThird 16
There has to be some sort of story behind this..
mbuck87 19
So why did she need 3 then?
Nimor 25
Well... in her defense, you did ask...
Sulzfuric 9
One in the ass, pussy, and mouth