Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss's 13-year-old son. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML
Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML
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Top comments
Charmillionaire 13
Walk up to her and say, "Does this look familiar?", then drop your pants.
challan 19
I bet you were a stallion, man! Orally satisfied her, rocked her world in several positions, and brought her to numerous orgasms. ummm... except you were drunk, so what really happened is you only got to half mast, came as you put the condom on, threw up on her bed and tripped over her cat as you tried to get to the bathroom. Well done.
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Comments (47)
NigerianMedicine 11
Is the blackout such a bad thing? Given the amount of alcohol you'd have to consume, I can't imagine the alleged sex being all too great.
ldoonngg 5
Hey look at the bright side, you were wasted and still tapped that! Congratulations.... I think lol
MetallicaFTW 16
You probably didn't get any if you were THAT drunk anyway. If you know what I'm talking about..... Whiskey dick.....
Mousie1097 5
Brilliant. ******* drunks are ruining the world
nancyschmancy 9
Interesting that there is rumor about you having sex with her. Rumor is usually speculation, for the most part. You may have been together during the evening or may not have. You might have left at the same time and shared a cab (hopefully, if you were that drunk)and gone to your separate homes with none the wiser. What have you got to lose by asking her out? If she says no or makes excuses why she can't, let it go. If a woman is interested, she won't ever say no.
patkelly1336 2
Alcohol - All the best times you will never remember
pregnantpianist 2
Maybe you shouldn't drink so much, hmmm?
xmaan667 15
Why would you be mad about the rumor? She's hot dude
kittykat1501 31
How do you know the rumors were true?
jeepers490 14
Sucks to be you. Ask her for another round?