Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, in a bid to avoid going to the dentist, my husband decided to have one of his drunk buddies pull his tooth out with pliers. Now he has to have surgery to remove the shards of tooth left rotting in his mouth. It’s going to cost thousands. Thanks babe. FML
Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML
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Top comments
caancoha 0
Next time you can offer him the giant, mutant tampon you pulled out of your ladyparts.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
A tooth for a tooth, exchange him your most prized molar.
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Comments (100)
brandibombastic 0
hahah
thor89 0
True love and kinky ROLF
twassim 0
people just don't understand the point of "FML" I swear it is literarly what the name says, it's not " My Stupid Day" it is F*** My Life
pitbullmom 0
haha I was thinking the same thing-at least he didn't give you herpes
ImaginaryFoe 1
#60 It is sometimes literally the moment that ruined your day as Pendatic can do a better job of explaining. Sometimes the OP's life is truly FUBAR. Other times, it's just a crappy moment. I'm not saying this post is FML-worthy but they are not all crises.
iSwag 0
who cares this isn't an fml...wash your hands, and when you're done cancel your your account
caleb865 0
u have big lip dog
tweetbaby14 18
does he expect you to do the whole tooth fairy bit with him
iSwag 0
Caleb865 why the **** are you looking at my lips? Even if you carelessly noticed something like my lips, you being another guy, felt the need to comment why? take that skirt off and control those homosexual urges boy
teozac 0
#90 big lips and a hole in your RIGHT ear
iheartsunshine14 0
I thought you were a girl... :/
Person1233 13
YDI for marrying an 11 year old.
moneypenny_fml 0
his tooth? or is he a dentis? cause it's creepy if he keept someone elses tooth
FernandoTorres_fml 0
A tooth for a tooth, exchange him your most prized molar.
repyourcliche 0
why is that disgusting exactly?
Averizzle 0
Then how do you brush your teeth if you are disgusted by them..
weaverr 4
how the hell can u be afraid of teeth? ur breath must be stank cuz ur too disgusted to brush them, lol
drawmesunshine 17
I totally get what you mean, yo. It's like hair: it's ok when it's still attatched and clean, but once it's been seperated from the body, it's just gross.
ImaginaryFoe 1
OP did say it was a mutant tooth so that sounds fairly disgusting. The bigger question is where had it been all those months? If he just found it under the couch or something, that definitely qualifies as gross.
st0n333d 0
Kinkey
caancoha 0
Next time you can offer him the giant, mutant tampon you pulled out of your ladyparts.
daviesha 0
lol
girlgerms 0
HAHAA! nice.
luvmygirl65 0
@7 Dude, you rock!!! FTW!!
alexblue 5
:D
milkshakesrule 0
Lol, 7 wins.
ninja_ness 3
make a necklace out of it ^•^
CupCakeGirl101 0
that narsty!
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Whoa. He needs to slow his roll :] Girls can only handle so much romance.
sleephunters 8
Especially not a mouthful of it.
yessirfosho 0
OP you're the kind of woman that shouldn't be allowed out of the kitchen.