Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML
Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML
Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard that she had a seizure and passed out. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
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Top comments
Cassandra2015 21
I think a simple apology will help. Check in once and awhile and make sure things are ok. it will be appreciated
SuperWhoMarvLock 22
I think an apology would do nicely....
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Comments (77)
MalekiMaker99 22
I agree with #2
amanda182 19
I bet you feel like a real asshole, huh? Lol
SuperWhoMarvLock 22
I think an apology would do nicely....
TheBelt 19
Agreed, O.P shouldn't have assumed his neighbor was having sex.
socialproduct 19
In OP's defense, 9 times out of 10 sex noises = sex noises
Markovski 18
Should go and knock at someone's door in that case, instead of yelling.
Ms_ValS 27
You must be fun
themonesterman 12
"Oh hi, I hear you're having sex, can you please keep it down? Thanks" Even if the neighbor WAS having sex, it probably wouldn't have gone over well.
smokecloud_ 37
Yeah, it doesn't. I've had neighbors beat on my door before and I wasn't even making noise. :/. That's why I quit apartment living
FMLusername969 21
I seriously doubt they would answer.
gearhead369 20
You must think they are into some violent sex then! Don't jump to conclusions so fast next time, OP
TheManInWhiteXx 9
@5 It doesn't have to be violent sex for people to make sex noises.
angelalalalalala 9
Why was this thumbed down? He obviously meant that if it was confused with a seizure then the sex must have sounded violent, duh.
Aseemdawg 18
Well that's a shaky situation
Sandsh8rk 36
Please stop.
socialproduct 19
Don't worry about these down votes. Totally respectable attempt... made me smile. I would thumbs up you twice if I could.
angeluv_2014 22
wow. that's pretty ****** up
bettyc4 26
...you dick.
19990231 29
Just imagine his thought while you were shouting at him.
nlenaghen 5
As someone who suffers from epilepsy I'll just say (for me) you don't think or take in information from your environment when it happens.
Zebediabolical 45
Sparkly confetti vision. That's probably what he was thinking while OP was shouting at him.
Dark_Zekrom 21
In addition to what 24 said, I've had seizures before and the last thing I remember before having one was sitting back in my chair. The next thing I remember is waking up on the floor an apparent 2 hours later.
siggy_mcsigx 22
This may be ignorant but aren't most seizures pretty quiet? The person usually doesn't get enough breath to moan or cry out. How thin is OPs wall (and patience) that he even heard a seizure happening?
Dark_Zekrom 21
@64, depends on the seizures. The seizures most people associate with being seizures is known as gran mal in which you lose consciousness and there's full body convulsions. There's also petit mal in which you don't lose consciousness and is usually just twitches.
Imadeek 4
Sounds like a pretty enjoyable seizure
RedPillSucks 33
only if he was giving a ******** at the time. yes, I know I'm going to hell for that one
dreamful_artist 14
What is wrong with you...
Cassandra2015 21
I think a simple apology will help. Check in once and awhile and make sure things are ok. it will be appreciated
jttorkildson 21
Most people have no memory of having a seizure, so he probably doesn't remember the yelling. Apologizing might make things worse.