Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his iPod app said I was cheating. FML

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend of two years asked me out on a date was because I accidentally flashed him when we met. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

Red flag

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "Find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

Great excuses

Today, I dumped my boyfriend because I found his OKCupid account. He claimed that he only has it so he can do the quizzes. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he dated me was because he was lonely, and I looked lonely enough to like him. FML

Marty McFly

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I've heard some weird reasons before, but "My future self told me to" is a new one. FML

Great start

Today, I went on a date with a guy who kept checking his phone every five minutes. When I asked him if everything was okay, he told me he was just playing Candy Crush. FML

A way out

Today, I found multiple dating apps in my boyfriend's phone, hidden in a folder with his calculator and calendar. His excuse? He said he was never going to meet up with any of them, he just needed to have a back-up plan. We have been together for five years and live together. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML