Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML
Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box, "Face this side towards crowd for the best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on its side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML
Today, my idiot redneck next door neighbor decided to throw an empty whipped cream spray can into a fire to watch it explode and scare half the neighborhood. That idiot redneck next door neighbor is also my 65 year-old dad. FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML
Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
That's why I carry firecrackers around whenever I'm with my veteran grandfather. In case I ever piss somebody off, I know I'm a lighter-flick away from Hulk-level protection. Some people think I'm exploitative and douchey, but to them I say… *takes out lighter and firecrackers*
muncherofice 19
The new year started out with a bang I suppose. Hopefully your grandpa is ok.
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Comments (58)
hipposteve 21
Give a little more consideration of whos around you. I hope he's okay. Getting decked in the face is a small price to pay for putting him in that situation.
captainsmegma 12
Make it an epic event next time. Set off an entire string.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
That's so ******* rude. Causing someone to have flashbacks from a horrible time in their life is not ******* funny. I wouldn't walk up to my father, who is a veteran, and ask him about how it was to see his friends die, because it's rude and would bring back horrible memories. So why would you purposely trigger someone's PTSD for your own shitty fun? **** you.
shortcake18 15
I feel really bad for your grandpa hopefully he is alright now
tintarroja 31
Firecrackers give more problems than fun. I know someone who's dog died when it heard a firecracker, went running away scared and got stuck in a wire fence...
smxiricky 23
he felt you as a threat ...any person who sets fire crackers after new years would freak me out so ?
lvg_fml 10
Imagine what he went through and be considerate. My father was a wwii vet and at 90 years old still had nightmares
KhaleesiDannie 26
My dad was in Vietnam and loud random noises freak him out he actually has to go stay at the VA for a week recently due to his PTSD I'm sorry you got hit OP and I'm also sorry your grandfather had to relive some of the hell he encountered there....
KhaleesiDannie 26
Not only what they had to deal with in Vietnam but what they had to deal with when they got back... They spit and threw things at them when they came home it was a terrible time all around
Mansik 1
haha he must still be mad about how his country lost the war in Vietnam.
koijj 14
well, that's a fuckboy move man. that's not even a funny joke either you should watch what you say
mliajkfml 15
Hate to say it, OP, but YDI. You should've known at least that he has PTSD and maybe asked him before setting off the firecracker. It wasn't your fault he hit you, but it was your fault he acted that way.