Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML
Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box, "Face this side towards crowd for the best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on its side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML
Today, my idiot redneck next door neighbor decided to throw an empty whipped cream spray can into a fire to watch it explode and scare half the neighborhood. That idiot redneck next door neighbor is also my 65 year-old dad. FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML
Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
That's why I carry firecrackers around whenever I'm with my veteran grandfather. In case I ever piss somebody off, I know I'm a lighter-flick away from Hulk-level protection. Some people think I'm exploitative and douchey, but to them I say… *takes out lighter and firecrackers*
muncherofice 19
The new year started out with a bang I suppose. Hopefully your grandpa is ok.
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Comments (58)
daniel271 13
It ain' easy back in the 1960s
famine83 4
that is what happens when you mess with a Vet with PTSD
1947Chevy 17
It's a good idea to think about things like that when around military and ex military. It's easy to forget about and these things happen but with some people it doesn't take much
Senior2015 8
I could've told you that from the get go .
manuwish 9
Doesn't he have the condition since he's been back? if so, Op must most certainly know about it and avoid situations whenever possible.. so it kind of stands to debate if the triggering was partly intentionally induced, or, were there maybe other reasons or issues involved for the breakout? I hope both op and his dad feel better..