Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML
Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML
Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, after an 8-month wait, I went on my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and, just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can't swim and we are about to go on a romantic holiday to Zanzibar where all our excursions include water-based activities. His solution is that I just go do them all by myself. FML
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Top comments
lifecontroller 2
You can get specially made goggles to fit your facial features. I scuba dive so please take my word for it
BaconDave 12
It was their honeymoon, a time to be spent together.
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Comments (90)
darkness4dummies 0
FIRST
rawrlily 0
What, are you Barbra Streisand or something?
bubble25_fml 5
how sad is it when the first comment gets moderated... op, just remember, it doesn't matter if it's big, it's how you use it ;)
juanaranda1015 4
take a hint and get a nose job :)
Juliaa15 6
Or just be happy with the face you were born with. nothing you can do about it. be happy for your wife, nothing you can do about it now.
AaronTkr 0
maybe he's jewish and proud. gawd.
mooshibear140 4
#2, take the hint and shut the hell up!
pooponyuou 0
Jew.
Garyy_fml 11
guys get nose jobs?
JacksonCampbell 9
Nose jobs aren't sex-specific. Now you know. hurrdurr
sxe_beast 11
I love how people are so anti cosmetic surgery... >.>. IDK why he's getting so many thumbs down. I'm soooooooooo glad I got my mother's nose and not my fathers. If I had my father's nose I would most definitely have rhinoplasty performed on me. Cosmetic surgery is amazing.
Sperrys 3
yeah a nose job, so he might end up like MJ? I wouldn't do it.
ChelseaXD 0
Nose job, but fyl.
volley4eva1698 0
HE CAN PROBABLY SMELL FOR MILES
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
[ Insert Jewish joke ]
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Go ahead and insert it. I'm pretty sure that the Mods would love to hear your funny joke. /sarcasm
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
Score one for you.... Me: zero
aardvarks 0
This made my day(:
PeachyJinx 7
Ha, I would've went to but fyl
slkdw 1
you can't scuba dive if your nose doesn't fit in the mask...you won't be able to see as your mask will fill up with water because it doesn't fit.
sourgirl101 29
I think 7 meant if she were the wife, not the OP. I just went snorkeling in the Bahamas two weeks ago and it was amazing! I can only imagine what scuba diving would be like. The OP should be happy that the wife got such an opportunity but honeymoons are for doing romantic things "together".
Garyy_fml 11
I think she saying if she was the wife, she would've gone.
Garyy_fml 11
Ah poodles 43 beat to it
noelykins1 19
they just got married and it's THEIR honeymoon... I wouldn't have gone I would of just gone back to the hotel and found a new way to have fun with him ;D
lifecontroller 2
You can get specially made goggles to fit your facial features. I scuba dive so please take my word for it
DocBastard 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How about being happy for your new wife instead of bitching and moaning, you selfish twat.
CoconutMuffin 5
Well, okay then. :S haha...
BaconDave 12
It was their honeymoon, a time to be spent together.
Garyy_fml 11
I think the wife is the twat.
aardvarkish 17
I'm with doc on this one. Suffrage all the way! Besides, I would have gone...
2cacrawf 0
I agree also .. instead of being selfish that you couldn't go .. be happy for your wife I'm sure she had a blast
Ronnie_loves_you 11
It's not just his honeymoon it's hers too. She should enjoy it.
FMLandurstoo 9
Some racist bastard is probably gonna make a Jewish joke
borkchop1992 15
i would too. forget you and your oversized nose
brmgirl123 0
HAHAHAH
seeunexttuesdays 6
it's not too late to get a divorce!
llamalpaca382 13
...you mean early? They JUST got married >_>