WTF is your profile pic

agreed!! WTF!!

you have to know by now riding a public bus will get you mugged at some point in the U.S I'm from Seattle and every night on the news there's always some video from a metro bus with something happening, so hide yo kids hide yo wife and hide yo wallet because they jacking everyone around there!!!

lol sorry iPhone cut and paste screw up on that lay post what it shoulda been is looks like a cane or wooden shalaliege or however it's spelled sitting in a gutter or just some leaves and water

My profile pic is an arrowhead and that's my walking stick beside it. The arrowhead type is "waubesa". It was knapped out of flint rock by Native Americans during the Woodland Period (500 B.C. - 500 A.D.). I found this one myself. Researching and studying these types of artifacts is my hobby, hence the username "rockhound". Probably way more information than you wanted, but hey, you asked.

I see what you did there #1...

Guys are supposed to love being sexually assaulted in their sleep? I probably would have kicked her in the face too before I found out who it was.

I know, op was lucky only to get a knee to the eye. when I tried this with my girlfriend, her dad put 4 bullets in me

Question is did he slept again or did he got op to change the car gear with limited visibilty ??

I've got a friend who's highly trained in unarmed and knife combat. If someone touches him when he's sleeping then he's literally on top of them likely with a knife to their throat before he's even awake. Gotta be careful.

At least you know he won't cheat?

Exactly also if the genders were reversed the guy would probably get locked up...

Get locked up for undressing your girlfriend? Boy, in what country do you live? OP, it can even be worse! Just read this cool and painfull story. Once upon a time, there was a male friend of mine, sleeping with his girlfriend. The girlfriend tried to be 'romantic' to give him a ******* while he was still fast asleep. The uncontrollable reaction of my friend: slap her. The uncontrollable reaction of his girlfriend: bite in his penis. The end.

You can indeed get locked up for undressing your girlfriend if she doesn't consent. Just because you're dating doesn't give you 24/7 access to a person's body.

idk what set of laws you live by but my laws state if she isn't screaming "no!" then its not rape

Agreed.

How about replacing "romantic" with "his wiggly bits"?

Alrighty!!! "Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling his wiggly bits, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML"

Much better. I should be able to sleep at night now that you changed it. Unless of course someone starts unzipping my pants...

Glad to be of service, though I can't help you if KaySL starts touching you....

And yes, I just noticed I spelt reflex horribly wrong.

And you used the wrong "your," but who's keeping tabs?

That one was kinda hard to notice since I wrote your so many times.

I just thought I'd point it out before some entitled asshole came along and acted like you were the stupidest person on the planet for making the mistake.

Thanks a lot, you entitled asshole. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for.

Quite the contrary, actually. -_-

I don't know how much it is the you're/your thing anyway. I **** up the spelling for that just as much as other words. It's just there's no red line under the word if you spell a different word in its place. And if you're typing fast, it's easy to miss it.

You're preaching to the choir.

"Your" is possessive, as in "your mom." "You're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're awesome." It's a common mistake people make, I wouldn't worry about it. I didn't even catch that mistake until the second guy pointed it out.

who teh **** cares if its speeld rong as long as u can tell wht they meen...

I'm with 35 way to off topic

Yes, I'm with trihty fvie on tihs, who caers how you sepll sutff. Idiots.

Pssh, guys, the non-English speakers have a hard time reading comments with much mistakes in. Just saying.

You know what 64, you're absolutely correct. Nobody cares if you spell things right. Oh wait! I forgot that if you ever want to get a job of higher quality than the McDonald's you work at, you need to have a basic understanding of the English language! Idiot.

Maybe, but who the **** cares on FML? Will we lose at life if our spelling and grammar is wrong here? Idiot.

88: I sure hope so.

You will eventually lose at life if you can't understand how to properly construct basic sentences. You really won't get anywhere.

@84 And you need to get a basic sense of humor. And you are aware this is the internet, right? Not everyone are native English speakers? Also, why are you attacking him? the "McDonald's he works at"? He wasn't even talking to you and you seem so angry with this man, whom you know nothing about. Definately not where he works.

learn english? i did

breadstick FTW :D

Both sound equally perverted to me.

I see what you're saying because joysticks remind me of video arcade games, however the way 11 phrased it would make either word sound perverted. P.S. Disco is awesome.

i believe they were quoteing lady gaga who is a new pop music artist thus making this "newer"

It says she was feeling romantic, but I think she was just horny. So I doubt she would make him a sandwich.

So my comment didn't make you chuckle in anyway?

Well, I certainly agree that when it comes to romantic gestures, "making a sandwich" is close to the top of the list. It's right up there with "shutting the **** up".

Glad we're on the same page then.

I like how this woman thinks!

That's because you're a dick.

Indeed :P

Even so, you shouldn't touch someone when he/she is sleeping. Unless, it involves you putting whip cream in their hands and you tickling their face with a feather.

lmao @ 37

lol 19 so true

#19 ur a **** for defending OP

what are you, 8?