Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm forbidden from hanging out with one of my friends. This happened after she was with us in a parking lot, and one of mom's smartass coworkers blasted his horn at us from a parked car to jolt us. My friend had a screaming breakdown; she has PTSD from losing her dad and sister in a car crash. FML
Today, I found out why my dad doesn't want my girlfriend coming to our house anymore. Apparently, her dad used to bully him a lot during high school and he's never gotten over it. He's threatened to disown me if she comes back over here. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
RabenSchwartz 3
stacys mom....
FYLDeep 26
Yeah #3. I thought #1 was pretty creepy too. I mean what the hell is she smiling at. Is she looking at me? Awkward...
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Comments (85)
trmntr 4
thanks to facebook, I now just randomly bitchslap my bestfriend, and say: that's because I know you are 1) going to hit in my mom, 2) going to sleep with my wife, 3) going to screw with me when I am drunk 4) going to lose my dog in a poker game 5) going to pants me at work 6) going to steal my car, 7) going to take my cell phone and change my wifes number to my ex-girlfriend 8) sleep with daughter and or son.
trmntr 4
crap, well facebook is a whole nother story. I meant FML
RedPillSucks 33
or all of the above.
glambert1998 0
epic faillllllllll:(
Jimboom 12
Smack the crap outta him and tell him to stop it. Then help him up and never speak about it again. Thats what a real friends would do.
ClawingCreature 0
That's bloody hilarious. Seriously though, you should probably tell him that he shouldn't be harassing your mother.
bd1614 0
BE MY MOTHER LOVER!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Ain't nothin' wrong if you wanna do the mom all night long.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
All niiight long.. (all niiight, all niiight..)
zemo999 0
11 & 19 should get together & we'll make an awesome sandwich!!!
Lounia_fml 8
The lil ************..
yoizzing565 0
LOL（＾Ｏ＾）
GeekboyCol 0
Yo,I’ve been stalkin your mom For like two years straight I’m way to shy to ask her out on a date So I just wait In your neightbours lawn With my camera ready and my camouflage on (Love the version sung by Weezer)
livetodisco 0
LOL !!!