Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year-old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML
Today, I found out that my great-grandmother was a cougar, seducing men who were barely older than I am now. I did not need to know this information. Thanks Grandma. FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
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Top comments
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Why are you thinking about your grandma having sex?
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Ask to join her posse. Meet some new people
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Comments (97)
kasmol 16
The problem isn't that grandma gets more action than you. The problem is that grandma has more energy and motivation than you. Get up off your ass and do something besides complain.
Boredboard 3
How much you wanna bet??
Shepardspie71 8
Your life is what u make it. If it sucks its all u bro
Simoneaux17 11
Your grandma is awesome. Just saying.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Work on your people skills or set a lower bar for making friends. Real question: Do you actually go out and try to meet people?
IronSkye 7
So cool! Man, that's what I call a hardcore woman.
cheetoaf 6
Which "Notorious" Biker Gangs allow women to be members?
lostribe 3
Way more.
kyniska79 0
I'm right there with ya OP. Good friends are hard to find, let alone a good guy! :(
papasik 6
could it be that pleasing your grandma is a rite of passage for new members... no, no way.