Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Top of the mornin' to ya!
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
This means war
Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML
Dirty boy
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Best foot forward
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Well played, you mutt
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Bad boy
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Top comments
Happygofucky 0
I wouldn't get out of bed to poop if I knew someone else would clean it up. Why bother!?
mrsmcscruggs 5
YDI.... your dog is sick. if anyone's lazy it's you for not taking the poor thing to the vet.
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Comments (127)
Amaxwell 0
Dogs have to be trained so, if she's crapping in your bed repeatedly then you only have yourself to blame.
xo0Hannah0ox 3
that's usually a sign that something is wrong with the dog. you're a terrible pet owner op... calling your dog lazy.
Miss_Random 0
Sounds like your the one to blame. If your dog was so sick and had absolutely no control over his bowels, then maybe I'd understand. Although, if that was the case then you really shouldn't have him on the bed. I think YOU are the lazy one. Train your dog.
purple_sarah88 0
Yeah good point. I hate anthropomorphic FMLs like 'OMG my cat pees outside the litterbox because they hate me or have a horrible, human like grudge about something that happened months ago' or 'my dog pooped in the bed because she's sooo lazy and couldn't be bothered to get up!' I always think hey maybe the animal has a health problem? Or needs some more attention or training? But the owner is always looking for an easy answer.
Miss_Random 0
*you're.
Capt_Awesome137 0
lolz.
nikki9tails 3
did you try letting it out? sorry but YDI for being to lazy to let it out yourself
Capt_Awesome137 0
usually that means that the dog is either sick or very old.
purple_sarah88 0
Most dogs don't like to poop where they sleep, get your dog checked by a vet to see if there is a health problem causing her to have trouble controlling her bowels, if it's not a health problem make sure you walk her and let her out enough and work on house-training. And don't let her sleep on your bed, that can cause dominance issues where she thinks she is the boss because she sleeps on the same level as you and may try to guard the bed.
bankrupt 15
Some dogs really are that lazy, so it is entirely possible that the OP did proper toilet training but the dog is just a lazy slob who prefers to soil where she is laying to the effort of getting up and going outside. The dog was probably not punished for this offense and saw the OP clean up the turd so now she knows she has maid service and will continue to shit in the bed, secure in the knowledge the OP will rush to pick it up. Those rotten dogs need prodding in a way other dogs do not. The OP states that the dog took the shit in the morning which means the dog successfully held it all night but dropped a deuce in the morning on the bed because she was too lazy to get up and go outside. This dog does not deserve to sleep in bed with a human. That is a treat reserved for good dogs who don't shit the bed because they're too comfortable to get up and go outside. Crating this dog at night in all likelihood will resolve this issue. Additionally, dogs who are crated at night can't destroy things in the house or chew dangerous things like TV and lamp cords. Just because you go to sleep with the dog in the bed and wake up with the dog in the bed does not mean the dog spent the whole night in the bed. He/she could have cruised your house all night long. If the dog were sick she is unlikely to have been able to hold it all night and the shit would have already been in the bed, plus if she were sick the shit would have been diarrhea and the OP would have said the dog didn't get out of bed to have diarrhea, not the dog didn't get out of bed to poop. This dog is most likely healthy, she honestly is just too lazy to get up and do her a.m. bowel movement where she knows she is supposed to.
tpike1296 11
WTF. TL;DR. DYKHTSYFM? PLZ LRN. ICSIA. 1337.
nightmare33 0
why do u say the dog is lazy. u could be the one that is lazy because 1 the dog is sick and u dnt care for it or 2 u ddnt train it properly soo its jst as much as ur fault then the dog
FarSide 23
Bitch please. OP is no lazier with his dog than you are with your typing.
nightmare33 0
why wuld i type all properly im out of school damn
ReynshineCutting 10
If you're out of school out in the real world trying to be a productive member of society then God help us all. It's not that hard to type an extra ******* letter in a word. We should get you the Mister Men shirt "Little Miss Selfish" to wear everywhere since obviously you're an "I do what I want, **** everyone else" kind of person with no consideration of others. Or we could just get you a shirt with an arrow pointing up saying "I'm with stupid". Either would suffice in this situation. Now, where's Sirin when we need her because in the FML rules it CLEARLY says don't type in txt spk.
nightmare33 0
Well. It looks like you got me all figured out. And why waste your time typing that on my post. Geez! Why do u obviously want to correct me? If you got me figured out, then don't waster your time. Enough said. O and another thing, MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS PlEASE!!!!