Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML
Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
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Top comments
Mysanitywins 10
You can't see the OP's name? Derp
ImaWiseGuy 5
I guess that's how you rectify a situation...literally...
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Comments (306)
helper420 0
pretend it's your baby?
ugliness 6
awww D: at-least your pet won't die from it if you keep up the care routine,hopefully... be positive :D
rebekahah 7
yeah at least OP found out before it was too late. :) my friend, unfortunately, didn't.
enonymous 9
Just remember this doesn't give you an excuse to play red rocket with your pet.
yajamannin 0
lol
cetlawizard 15
omg...lol. soooo south park of you to say. :)
xCocobirdx 0
That's gross, but whatever you have to do to take care of your guinea piggy :C
ryanmm2011 0
awww:( I hope he's okay
taniaaaaa 0
well DAMN :p lol good luck with that x]
griffindragon97 3
yes I'm not the only one in the world that has to do it FML and FYL
JiggyBoo123 11
I have a guinea pig too. You have to clean their cage before flies get in there. I agree, it sucks, but if you were keeping him/her in unsanitary conditions, you were sort of asking for it. Poor Guinea. FYL and YDI.
griffindragon97 3
true very true
tayza249 20
Actually it's just a common problem for male guinea pigs in old age. It has nothing to do with sanitation
Crazy4Christ 0
yes, but it's more likely to happen in unsanitary conditions
DuckfaceSoccerpu 0
but we don't know if OP was keeping it unsanitary, so until we know, FYL op.
Snafuusmc 12
your a good pet owner i'm sure if it happened to you he would do the same.I think!
yajamannin 0
hahaha lol
ryanartz8 0
just bury it out back?