Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML
Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he wasn't on Facebook for the last two days. It turned out his father found out we were talking, and banned him from logging on. He's 19. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML
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Top comments
nick347b 6
Tell him to touch your boobs or you'll tell his parents.
baconstrips 12
Boyfriend: hehehe boobies! :D Girlfriend: wanna touch them? Boyfriend: NO WAY! My parents will kill me!
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Comments (202)
RaquelW 7
the thought police!
krad204 21
Well, it's not my favorite, or even close to being my favorite.
stacianichole 2
Just started it. Wanted Animal Farm, settled for 1984. I'm happy with this decision.
EvilCupcake8361 9
best book ever:)
SpaceDementia_fml 4
1984/Muse ftw!
CreeperIRL 14
MmMmMmmmmm boobies!!!!
FYLDeep 26
What if his parent ask him about that stuff? Not everyone is comfortable lying to their parents.
Inspired22 11
He doesn't have to lie. He can simply inform them that it is none of their damn business.
FYLDeep 26
I guess I was kinda thinking the same. But I was applying this to myself. I personally don't feel comfortable lying to my parents and I very rarely do it. If they ask me about whether or not I did something they disapprove of, I just tell them the truth. I think if they respect you they won't make a big deal out of it.
Inspired22 11
It's good you have parents that respect you. I guess it doesn't seem like the OP's man feels like his parents respect him and his decisions, though. It's cool to tell your parents stuff if they respect your decisions and let you live your life. But if they don't, they need to butt out, plain and simple.
girl112891 7
True. But clearly the guys parents don't respect him enough. Other wise the guy wouldn't fear doing it in the first place. Keeping him from bring comfortable sexually. If it were me (as a guy) and they asked me if I touched my girlfriends boobs, I'd say, "well, I am heterosexual. Unless you want me touching pineses...?" that should have like have the opposite effect where they'd start encouraging him to touch those boobies and stay far from pineses!
Isoldael 27
Then again, saying it's none of their business isn't lying, either.
cutie724 8
Wow. You don't get to hear that too often..
ItsMeSeth 3
I like the way you think
jedielf 23
Damn, girl. You are dating a sissy.
Freeze_fml 17
It's a sad day when a female wants a male to grope her and he's afraid to.
imdelicious 0
Rrr
elementalz 2
Agreed I mean wtf why would you not grab her boobs I do it people all the time and I'm not even dating them lol
Commander223 9
^ Well that kind of makes you a douche...
lajaynay 15
Dress sexy and grind on him. I promise that he will forget all about his parents.
ItsMeSeth 3
I like the way you think
lajaynay 15
Uhm.. Thanks?
tmrwisanotherday 1
Tell him to touch them or you will squeeze his dick.
mtrrace 4
You say it like it's a bad thing
ToeJams 0
At least you don't have to worry about getting std's from him
FruityLoooons 8
Maybe there's microscopic cameras in your nipples, monitored by his parents. ...no, you're right, that was a dumbass thing to say.