Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I finally had lunch alone with the girl I like. It wasn't bad, but we had a few awkward silences. Still, I got home feeling proud that I’d actually managed to get some one-on-one time with her. But a little while later, my sister pointed out that I’d had a piece of lettuce stuck in my teeth the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
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Top comments
Ilikeurfmls 13
Why do you assume she would have sex with you?
doctorhook86 25
This FML smells like it was written by someone under age 20...
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Comments (218)
thundergirl_fml 2
Expect to get laid after one lunch, it's no surprise you still have your virginity
iloveshim 14
**** grandma
JOEGERNAUTT 1
I LOLed
iloveshim 14
At least someone has a sense of humor
LadyCricket723 8
Enjoy time with your Grandmother. Some of us never got to enjoy that time or even meet our grandparents. You are blessed to still have yours. Go on your date afterwards. Tell your granny all about her. She was young once too!!! :)
PinkMystic1399 0
Well why do you just assume she will sleep with you?!?! and be lucky your grandmother is still with you, cherish the time you guys spend with each other because if that girl loves you enough to sleep with you, then she can understand.
weeabaka 6
You haven't known the chick long enough for her to take precedence over your family, let alone for you to be planning to **** her on the first date.
gman90210 18
Be glad you still have time with her and cherish it.
JOEGERNAUTT 1
Booty > Grandma Sorry, but it's true.
Justy101 23
It sounds to me that you don't give a shit about the girl, you just want to have sex. YDI
chris20579 1
Id say I wouldn't be single right now if I had to be here, then I'd leave
worldclassrager 41
sex and first date happens but not very often...you'll have a better shot buying a condom and not using it for real before that happens or maybe finding a tampon/pad in the men's restroom ...either way it's a low chance...