Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I finally had lunch alone with the girl I like. It wasn't bad, but we had a few awkward silences. Still, I got home feeling proud that I’d actually managed to get some one-on-one time with her. But a little while later, my sister pointed out that I’d had a piece of lettuce stuck in my teeth the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
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Top comments
Ilikeurfmls 13
Why do you assume she would have sex with you?
doctorhook86 25
This FML smells like it was written by someone under age 20...
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Comments (218)
Hellbound_Alleee 14
It IS possible to say to someone, "Saturday is not good for me, as I have plans. Why not next Friday?"
PhishloverA 14
As mean as this may sound, ditch your grandmother and go on the date. If you already made plans with that girl you like, nobody can force you to cancel and go with your grandmother. Especially if you're 18, then you definitely can't be forced
imodilley 4
It's your grandma. She's not gonna be here forever. You might here it a lot but she's a women, treat her to a good lunch date and you might be spied on by a cute waitress. You never know.
GetTheFuckOut 7
Was your date a prostitute? Aha.
McNerdyNerd 8
I hate to assume, but the way you worded this, because you went on a date she owes you sex? No wonder you are still SINGLE.
Lahawalala 3
Who says you're gonna have sex? It's one date. Unless she's a total ****, but then in that case I don't think that's the type of girl you wanna date.
dansco 25
Grow a pair virgin! You can go on your date with Grandma anytime so get yourself out with the lass ;)
mndlz 6
A tip from a girl, "I have to reschedule to take my Grandmother to lunch" = major bonus points... with the right kinds of girls.
nco1414 7
****** by life
ungawd 3
Really? Say sorry grandma but I have a date and go on today. Considering if she is, in fact going to lecture u on why your single, then she will understand.