Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I finally had lunch alone with the girl I like. It wasn't bad, but we had a few awkward silences. Still, I got home feeling proud that I’d actually managed to get some one-on-one time with her. But a little while later, my sister pointed out that I’d had a piece of lettuce stuck in my teeth the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ilikeurfmls 13
Why do you assume she would have sex with you?
doctorhook86 25
This FML smells like it was written by someone under age 20...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (218)
reo1600 1
You might want to stand up grandma
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
your grandma could die any day. be with her!
_highandlow 5
This is your first date and you already say you're gonna lose your v card?
ittybitttyme 8
Sex on the first date huh? Better go to lunch with granny haha!!
caitiebug1119 15
Why assume she would have sex with you on the first date? If you liked her that much, you would respect her enough to not assume sex would happen. Also, it's your freaking grandma dude. Spend a few hours with her while you can and tell her you're not exactly single.
Evath 7
Be a big boy and stand up to granny!!
MikeOxxbig 1
For a sex n00b you sure are confident in your chances on that lunch date champ. Pwnd!
vcolvin 0
What makes you think she will sleep with you on a first date. It seems like you don't respect her and therefore you deserve to remain a virgin!!
Squeaky_Tomato 14
"Grandma I'm still single because I expect women to have sex with me on the first date, but I'm just a nice guy I don't understand why this keeps happening."
TsarKeith12 9
Woah dude lose your virginity on a first date? Terrible mistake unless you plan on not dating them for more than the first date