Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML
Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
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Top comments
stook5 0
sounds like you got a situation
omG_G00 0
lmfao, # 1. I refuse to believe you actually wrote that.
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Comments (133)
YourWetDream 0
Maybe you should donate your time into looking more like the sleezbags on Jersey Shore...Just a thought :P
hognurse 0
you are sexy!! I'm new to this.. how do I talk to u in private?
jellyfish_735 0
I think some has to GTL :)
IzumiChan 0
Sorry but what does GTL stand for?
oliver86 8
buy the DVD!!
babygirldhayes 0
UR GURLFRIEND IS A STUPID ISIOTIC NIMROD AND A LESBIAN THAT'S NASTY AND YOU SHOULD DUMP HER AND GET 1 STRAIGHT ur desperate if u take that crap -----------------------------------------------
BahahahLOL 0
When's your birthday? I would like to fix that caps lock of yours and get you a big ol' dictionary.
babelini 12
lol :D
Arsonnist 3
Christmas is coming up.
Quest_ 13
FYL for being an uncreative lover who can't use this new found knowledge to add some spice to your life in the boudoir! Why not try some Jersey Shore roleplay? Or alternatively you could just GTL till you're FTD and she's DTF. If not, you better join the IFF.
ShadyFTW1 0
Quest, you are so cute it's unfair.
RedPillSucks 33
WTF?
BahahahLOL 0
Are we role-playing tonight Hun?
Illyssa_fml 4
Oh yeaaa! Get it in yeaaaa!
JGood09 0
Ohhh Yeaah you aint gettin any Yeaahhh!!!
Selena_is_back 7
the hell??? you're female?!?!?
bunniex1 11
Nooo she is a panda bear :I
chloec16 0
she must have a secret attraction to snooki. that's hawt right there :/
pixelbox 1
Do a threesome some day!! Lol