Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML
Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
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Top comments
stook5 0
sounds like you got a situation
omG_G00 0
lmfao, # 1. I refuse to believe you actually wrote that.
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Comments (133)
Elixa 0
no no no. what your thinking of is ohhhhh yeeeeahhh cabs arrre here yyyeahhhhh! T shirt time is- iits....... teeeeeee....... shirrrrrrt tiiiiiiiimmmme!!!
SamanthaJoe 0
lmao she likes short overly tanned fat midgets!
skyeyez9 25
Not to mention the guy's have those stupid spiked hairdos with and entire container of hair gel to make it stick up.
illegalnative 0
shush you, thou mess up me narrating power D:
mikejunior88 4
that's a little strange. jersey shore makes her horny? how?
kittykamp 1
Why take what you can get when all you have to do is RECORD it ?
gitarex 4
**** jersey shore. they're bunch of fake bitches
supersparta4300 0
haha what an idiot
ego1 0
1 more make sure no1 else finds out about this or it'll be your ex who gets turnt on
QWERTYCommander 5
Umm... The OP is a lesbian.