Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

Shitty

Today, I woke up at my brother-in-law's house in the middle of the night to discover I had a watery shit in my underwear. I thought I was safe because had on a Depends, I wasn’t and had to change my sweatpants too. FML

Unpleasant

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

Laundry day

Today, my 12 year-old brother tried doing laundry for the first time and ruined all my clothes with bleach. When my dad drove him to Walmart to buy replacement clothes for me, he bought me tighty whities. We both have worn boxers our whole lives. My dad won't return them. FML

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML