Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I recently graduated from high school and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say, "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML
Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, my school sent me an email saying I would be transferred to another class this Monday. I told my mom about it. Turns out my drunk mom ran into my teacher at a bar and started berating her for being at the bar, instead of grading her “kid’s exam already.” I’m a high school senior. FML
Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML
Today, I found out that, despite my above average performance in school, I was right in the middle of my class ranking at graduation. My school stated that your respect for others would affect your ranking, but the fact that nearly all of the people who placed above me were gigantic pricks says otherwise. FML
Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML
Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
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Top comments
Verst 16
Even though your Mother isn't proud, you should be. Congratulations, OP.
Ambient25 25
you should tell your mom that you feel like such a "son of a bitch" and see if she gets it
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Comments (62)
RamiUSMC 9
take a picture next time you use the restroom and prove her wrong!
perdix 31
It's the old "you think you're smarter than me?" routine. Your answer, "Yes, Mom, not only do I think I'm smarter than you, I have empirical data to back it up." Just go on and become successful, yet stick your mom in the cheapest nursing home you can find, especially if it has been cited for elder-abuse and health code violations.
Catkam623 27
Stick her in a nursing home? bury her instead with that kind of attitude she's probably just waiting to die...
BauerMegan 31
You two are harsh! Damn.
davidislost 11
Agreed!
Xalandra 17
What's wrong with your mom? Don't listen to her OP, she's obviously not right in the head or something. Congrats on doing so well!
alphalfa 7
Nothing but negative votes this morning, OP you got 13th, don't get upset at your mum something is clearly wrong. And sometimes in life you have to be proud of yourself. Keep it up l!
Amy78_fml 11
Good for you, but I always respond to this type of bragging with this joke, "You know what they call the man who graduates last of his class at med school? Doctor."
DocBastard 40
Bragging? So what you're saying is that OP doesn't deserve to be proud of herself? You seem to have the same attitude as OP's mother. And that attitude stinks.
siggy_mcsigx 22
"It is easy to sympathise with a friend's misfortunes but much harder to be happy for his success."
OctoberJade 12
There is a difference between bragging and telling ones parents of the accomplishments one has made. Would it be bragging if she were informing her mother she is valedictorian? What difference is there between that and this? None.
Larry01_fml 19
that sucks OP. Just make sure you're not like her
MrE187 12
Thanks for the support mom.
BobOsso_fml 8
So who was speaking without batting an eye, you or your mom?
catanita 18
What a loving mom you have.
mangobbler 11
I understand that OP's mom is just being a textbook moron, but I can't understand how "shit floats" is supposed to work as an insult or fit in to the whole context. I am just clueless here. Any kind soul out there to explain this to me, please? xD
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
I took it that she was calling OP a piece of shit and that's why they're at that position in the class.