Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I recently graduated from high school and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say, "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML
Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, my school sent me an email saying I would be transferred to another class this Monday. I told my mom about it. Turns out my drunk mom ran into my teacher at a bar and started berating her for being at the bar, instead of grading her “kid’s exam already.” I’m a high school senior. FML
Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML
Today, I found out that, despite my above average performance in school, I was right in the middle of my class ranking at graduation. My school stated that your respect for others would affect your ranking, but the fact that nearly all of the people who placed above me were gigantic pricks says otherwise. FML
Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML
Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
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Top comments
Verst 16
Even though your Mother isn't proud, you should be. Congratulations, OP.
Ambient25 25
you should tell your mom that you feel like such a "son of a bitch" and see if she gets it
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Comments (62)
Omniprism 15
Your mother sucks. I'm sorry. Congrats on such a great achievement. My mother wasn't the best either. I didn't talk to her for two years because she was so controlling. But I've learned she's human as well and has gone through things to make her who she is but I've also learned to keep my distance and watch what I say and know what to expect back from her as well. It sucks but sometimes you have to do that with some people. Good luck. I hope this achievement carries you far.
TheBrochure 22
I was going to vote on this comment, and then I saw that it had -13, and wanted to leave it at that for the irony.
asv78 12
Mother of the year... Wow.
insanelyXnikki 18
Actually your shit isn't supposed to float unless you have a metabolic disorder.
blackwidowtaco 31
That's a very shitty response on your mothers part. Most parents would jump for joy if their child had accomplished such a milestone throughout the duration of their education. Anyway, since your mother couldn't give you the support you should of received, congrats on your achievement op! :)
katnissmellark_fml 15
people on FML say"shit floats" no one bats an eye mom says "shit floats" every one loses their mind.
Anonomusturd 9
I'd like to pretend that she just shows her love in a strange way but regardless, you are super smart and us dumb people salute you!
nascar22 1
What the heck. R u trying to say
twinkiefeets 17
Your mom is shit and doesn't deserve you.
Octjrdl13 4
Congrats, sucks that your moms reaction was insulting but heck your doing great!, I was also 13th in my graduation class so props :)