Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML
Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I met a super gorgeous girl at the bar. We laughed together over drinks and it was all perfect, until she told me she wasn’t from this town. We hugged goodbye and she left. When I went to pay our tab, I realized I’d been pickpocketed by her. FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML
Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML
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Top comments
junkman6 22
I guess you didn't steal her heart then?
Unbweavable 17
how do you know it was her?
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Comments (85)
senthilistic 11
apparently you have great taste in women!
LifeMD 14
One way or another, she was gonna take your money.
christian1509 21
I guess your heart wasn't the only thing stolen
csjmcc 11
Damn that's cold!
Journiexo 18
Well now you know who she really is. You dodged a bullet there!
MandyMeow_fml 18
How did she steal money out of your wallet with out you noticing until later? Was she a magician.. never trust a magician.
MsKatieFace 11
I'd love to know how you supposedly know it was her? You think just because you like her and she actually talked to you, that discovering you had less money than you thought she must automatically be a/the thief? So many times I've spent money and then forgotten and thought i'd lost some, maybe you did too? That, or you might have actually dropped it yourself when putting your wallet away. Maybe you really were stolen from, but it occurred at a different time by somebody else. It is incredibly unlikely someone could have you looking right at them engaging in conversation, managed to get your wallet out of your pocket, open it, take out some of the money, and put the wallet back without you noticing.
91hayek 31
Oh look who it is. You're not fooling anyone Missy, give his money back or your number or something of equivalent value. :p
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well, aren't we rather pushy? People tend to condense their stories to fit the word limit, so something like "I left my jacket with my wallet in it next to her and when I got back it was still there but when I got home the money wasn't" would be left out. I'm not saying that's what happened, but if the OP is certain who took his money, I'm not going to second-guess him based on absolutely no facts.
SandyBella 17
Oh snap.
mattlikesfunions 22
I think maybe you should stop talking to her…
91hayek 31
Next time you see her lead with the cheesy pick up line "Is your daddy a thief?" but don't give the obligatory answer and just stare at her with a shit eating grin.