Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
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Top comments
woofer_fml 0
LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"
jennaleigh 0
You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.
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Comments (238)
Godxboredx 0
Holy fudging shit that is the funniest thing i read today!!! XD lol Oh forgot sorry shit happens..
TheAntiComment 0
#116 read what I said. It does not say anything about her saying "no" in any shape or form. "maybe after an amount of time she decided she was ready"
voice_of_reason 0
#112 / 121 - As I said, and as the commentor you originally snarked says, certain presumptions are required. Those presumptions are not unreasonable. A lot of the people on here seem to have the mentality of #114 / 115, and I think that is a problem. I think that education is required in order to discern where to really draw the line, and I think that your comments are evidence of that need.
armspazm 0
The modern girl is heavy.
panoramic 0
it is not alright to 'convince' anyone to have sex. you should be ashamed of yourself. regardless of your gender, if you want some, and the other person doesn't, don't push, just pleasure yourself. she should be able to say a resounding yes and mean it, not a grudging fine. if she doesn't want to, and you push it, it is still rape. be less of a jerk next time.
starshine3987 0
Wow what girl needs to be "convinced" that a guy would like to have sex with them? Was there ever a question?
AlexJakubsen1 0
ahahahahahahahahahaha. soooooooo, did she **** you?
strawberryswirl 0
Fact: The more thought you put behind making sex perfect, the worse it will turn out.
JavaAnyone 0
haha. its like she was destined to not have sex with you, dude.
McTasty 0
you got **** blocked by a door frame haha jk