Anonymous
Today, I fell asleep while watching a movie. My puppy took this opportunity to help himself to half a gallon of vegetable oil. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Sammy
Ottawa, Canada
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
Andrea Trevor
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
mayhemily
Aurora, Canada
Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML
aXel
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
Wow
United States
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
What ARE you doing?
Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML
girlllll
Denmark
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML
WhyMe
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Anonymous
Wake up call
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
His anus will be lubricated for the rest of his life.
ViviMage 40
Chances are puppy will be ok, other than vomiting and diarrhea. Worse case pancreatitis can happen. Why did the puppy get in that much oil? Was the lid off the fryer??
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Comments (16)
nekojoy 5
omg ! why, just why
fallenlikethesky 12
My question is why was vegetable oil on a place a puppy could get to it?
alycion 39
It took me about a day of thinking I was losing my mind to figure out mine learned to open the pantry. He could have easily gotten to something like that before I figured it out and moved stuff around. Some dogs are determined.
SaltyLurker 10
Diarrhoea. FOR. DAYS.
crashtestdumplin 16
Dogos get into everything. My apartment complex was remodeling and I let my pup out on the patio and she came back with a cigarette butt and nail sticking out of her mouth, gave me a panic attack, I took the nail out first and then she proceeded to chew on the cigarette butt and would not let go of it.