Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML
Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I tried to carry all my grocery bags in one trip. I was doing great until the plastic handles stretched and snapped in the parking lot. A carton of eggs exploded, an avocado rolled under a car, and a bottle of wine shattered. Someone asked if I needed help. I said no because I was too embarrassed. FML
Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML
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Top comments
randomthing 22
You definitely deserved it.
tswizz 13
You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?
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Comments (125)
titzenpitzer 9
and you're a bitch to karma. Damn girl, change yourself, grow a set of balls.
raiderpride16 2
bitches be tripen
sprinklez96 2
Karma's only a bitch if you are
perdix 31
I find the symbolism of a girl throwing eggs at an ex-boyfriend's house very pathetic. She is throwing chicken eggs at a guy who no longer wants access to the eggs in her ovaries. How sad! This is really more a "flaming bag of dogshit" situation. Too bad the OP didn't call perdix, Prank Consultant, before the intended attack.
Arrawyn 12
Karma is a bitch to a bitch. You're fault you were going to do something pointless and mean.
sommergirl16 3
You know i would have said you deserved it but you obviously had a reason u had to egg his house. I mean guys are stupid so ya
THE_A_TEEN 28
So, everything is justified because the guy is probably to blame? Here's a better idea: MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Egging someone's house is stupid and childish, and if you thing being the boyfriend's fault in something justifies egging his house then you're no better than OP.
simplylost643 0
#70- There is never, I repeat NEVER, a "reason u had to egg his house". When you grow up a bit, get a piece of property and a house of your own, and learn concepts like value and ownership, I believe you'll adjust your outlooks. In the mean time, please refrain from vandalism as a form of emotional damage control. Thank you.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Ahem. Quack.
downtime 13
121, There is such a time that throwing eggs is acceptable, such as if he was molesting her children or any other extreme circumstances in which he did something really really ****** up. But generally I agree with your statement.
mycleh13 7
Was the "other girl" named karma too? = karma to the next level!!
iGottaFindBubbah 12
You're doing it wrong -_- You want revenge? Do you and find happiness. Make him regret leaving you. That would just make him glad he dumped your eggmature ass. Thank Karma for stopping that bad move:))
jay_onethree 0
Haha! You should've just made eggs.
rebel_belle1974 5
Oh well you live you learn