Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML
Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I tried to carry all my grocery bags in one trip. I was doing great until the plastic handles stretched and snapped in the parking lot. A carton of eggs exploded, an avocado rolled under a car, and a bottle of wine shattered. Someone asked if I needed help. I said no because I was too embarrassed. FML
Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML
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Top comments
randomthing 22
You definitely deserved it.
tswizz 13
You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?
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Comments (125)
yourCountryGirl 4
Karma's only a bitch if you are.
Unbweavable 17
It's called letting go sweetheart
Bemilu 4
You must be young...
MuseFan1991 14
do you not think the ex would put 2 and 2 together and work out it was you who did it? i agree with the other commenters- a better form of revenge would be to move on and show him how much better you are without him :)
crazy4uboi 6
Why would egg his house? Its immature and illeagal. So yes you deserved it...
crazy4uboi 6
Messing with your ex shows him that you still have feelings for him but have this huge ego that wont allow you to give in. Karma will get him if he was a jerk, that you dont need to worry about because if you take over then karma will get you as well...
d4m4s74 12
Karma is only a bitch if you are.
kevin2407_fml 2
Egging your eggs eggsteriors? Sounds a bit eggstreme.
xmaximusx 12
Lol bet the ex would love to hear that one
viper64 10
Hope your ex reads FML so if you do egg his house, he knows it was you, and can contact the proper authorities.
northbaldwinbabe 18
agreed. it's a federal offense and you can be arrested and have it put on your permanent record. thank you for recognizing the need of the police in this matter. I had my house egged twice. cops called? you bet. permanent record? of course. kids forced to power wash my porch where they egged my house? right again, my friend. so thanks.