Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother got mad at me for breaking the screen on his phone. He'd already dropped it so many times that the whole screen was cracked to the point that you couldn't see anything on it, but for some reason, I am fully responsible for its destruction because I accidentally delivered the finishing blow. FML
Today, my younger brother decided it would be fun to slam a door on my hand while I was holding my brand new $200 cell phone that I got for my birthday. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a broken phone to go along with a broken hand. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Clock him solidly around the head. Dominance asserted.
arano 29
Well at least he didn't pee on you.
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Comments (45)
flyingflies 36
At least you aren't injured!
Krankerev 10
That's sad. Not trying to be rude. Did you also beat the shit out of him for what he had done?
Tomryan279 10
What idiot put a Hammock near a hill, especially if these are kids in the house. Be thank full it was you that fell out and it was your phone screen that broke and not your kid and his arm
The_ghetto_mango 25
It's quite nice to have a hammock on a hill, actually. Breeze and sun are closer. Maybe OP lives on a hill. Maybe that hammock has been there since before OP was born. My question for you is: why is putting a hammock on a hill bad?
kivutar 6
The *sun* is closer? Maybe 10 metres on a scale of thousands of kilometres, but I guess that is technically true.
The_ghetto_mango 25
I meant like, it FEELS closer. Like you could reach out and touch it.
Calingaladha 21
We've learned two things here: 1. Keep a case on your phone. A good case. 2. Get revenge on brother.
Pokemonguy 7
What a day to be alive
worldclassrager 41
Older or younger brother? Dominate asshole holds true with this one...
jocamo 24
Seeing as op is on FML, and said the brother was 11, I'd wager good money it's younger brother
LostInTheZone11 29
Give him the sugar free candy colon cleanse.
chisty87 16
Well get back up and assert your dominance by giving him a brotherly ass whooping of a life time...
firemedic841 11
Sounds like he succeeded.
ADOG2645 17
LOL, how old are you?