Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
Unless you're also an asshole, I think your parents should know you guys well enough to know who actually did it..
Adam_Power58 16
Prick move from the brother that's abit far , I would keep telling my parents it was him so they will hopefully believe eventually, and get payback !!
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Comments (44)
fantasyworld 39
Unless you are usually an asshole, your parents should know that you didn't do it.
KnockoutBlox 13
Sheesh, I couldn't imagine calling my mother that, even if I was pretending to be someone else
poorjudgement 26
I couldn' imagine calling anyone's mom that.
luvlu444 24
karmas only a bitch if u r, and by the sounds of things, ur brother has some shit headed his way. try explaining it to your mum OP
Maikeru79 10
I say You Deserve It for leaving your stuff easily accessible. If you have a **** munch for a brother you shouldn't leave anything logged in.
Tannasgh 22
Sounds like the opening salvo in a high risk game of "Practical Joke or Die"
ezrajab 22
Sorry op that's a dick move on your brothers part. You will get even eventually one way or another!
poorjudgement 26
First step: convincing your parents you didn't do it. Cry, if you can. Say: "how could you even think I'd do such a thing?" And be genuinely hurt. Speak with dad, speak with mom. Let them see you really are upset. Do NOT blame your brother. Say your account must had been hacked. Step two: damage control. Check your FB activity log, there might be more damage than you are aware. Delete everything. Apologize to everyone. Say account had been hacked. Post on your wall that it had been hacked. Tell your friends to be careful with their accounts. Change password. Maybe even apologize to your brother you doubted him. Step three Mod1: revenge. If you are absolutely sure he did it, and apparently you are, revenge. But not today, or tomorrow. In a few days or even weeks, when he doesn't expect anything. Step three Mod2: forgive, but don't forget. Better than revenge is to rise above it. New "prank" (though, what he did is really a very bad prank) would cause chain of pranks to continue. You will never see end of it and what seems to be already fragile relationship you have with your brother, would spiral down. However, do not forget, and be careful around him. (And apologizes for any typos, spelling, or grammatical errors. This is long post, I am from my phone, and English is foreign language for me.)
91hayek 31
Step 2 is what I was thinking too. He could have done stuff you don't know about and just getting your ass kicked by people for reasons you are not aware of, maybe even lose his job.
JosephKorso 15
Get your Count of Monte Cristo on. Wait like, 20 years, and bankrupt his business for it.
hpandher 16
She's his mother too, how could he say that...
Publikwerks 14
Revenge is clearly called for here. Install a keylogger on his computer. Once you have his FB password, select the level of response. You can unfriend all his friends You can send private messages to random friends declaring his unbridled love Or you could go nuclear. Public message on the timeline to your dad declaring his unbridled love
heelsss 2
Your brothers a ****** dick. even if he blames it on you, your moms feelings are hurt and that's not ******* cool at all. Beat his ass for this