Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML
Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML
Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day at work. I woke up when someone gently tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see people smiling at me. I'd been snoring so loud that the conductor had said, “Please wake Sleeping Beauty up, this is the last stop.” I had drooled on my tie and missed my actual stop by an hour. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NotGabe 28
That's an innocent way to have fun. c:
WeiXinLun 16
That. Is. Hilarious.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
figures101 5
You fell asleep in a very unsafe environment to a homeless man giggling...oh I can't count the ways it could have been worse.
WhiteCrimson 23
I would have been weirded out but I would then have rocked the "costume" thanked the dude and marched away as fast as I could.
the_real_dvd 21
That's what you do when you don't have cable tv.
PenguinBitch 44
43 clothes pins and counting? He's not a homeless, he's a Clothes Pin Salesman.....now pay up!
PenguinBitch 44
Each clothes pins represent his victims. >:)
buckdharma 38
He has pinned you. I think that means you're taken.
Ms_ValS 27
Harmless fun. To the homeless man and an outsider, that is.
Sophie_Hart 9
Awwww thos just shows how homeless can have as mich or even more fun than others who think they have eveything. OP im not saying you have everything but that is hillarious haha
Jemm_fml 29
At least he didn't harm you. Homeless people are people too.. they like to have a bit of fun sometimes! I should know.... *hides clothespin collection*
ffffffffck 13
Haha...bless both of you. That's awesome. Aren't you glad you weren't robbed? If your sleep is that deep you would make an easy victim. Just be careful next time or just don't sit down next time ;)