Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
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Top comments
drpepperking10 18
It's generally a rule of thumb not to fart in the pool for this reason.
krazy789 28
This sounds very embarrasing so fyl. Also on a side note why is everyone getting downvoted?
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Comments (26)
claudiajean 24
I'd have blamed it on him. Maybe this is why I should never have children though...
Kitcat1234 21
I think that's exactly why you should have kids. Just pass the blame onto them for everything embarrassing: if you fart, if you murder someone, if you forget to flush the toilet. Really, the only thing kids are good for is taking the blame for stuff.
_EnderDoge 22
#14: Isn't that kinda.. Yknow.. Rude?
Bunnyluver 20
Yeah, but I think they are just joking :D
OrganicSistah 17
If you fart in the pool just swim away or start randomly splashing around so the bubbles aren't so noticeable.
nonamebranding 12
Bhahaha!!! My little man likes to ask us in public places if we farted. He is very expressive and loud too lol. It's usually him doing the farting, boys learn fast ;)
species4872 20
Gotta love kids, No pretense just telling it like it is.
Noblemother1969 7
that would have been a great opportunity to dunk the kid!
KJ6 21
Always go to the shallow end-keep the blow hold above the waterline.
sparky82 11
Bwahahahaha! Bubbles of death gas! Trying not to laugh out loud at my desk at work.
Bunnyluver 20
At least, or so I hope, I wasn't one of those Caddy shack moments lol!