Today, for some reason, I suddenly started having convulsions all over my body. It lasted until my cat showed up and purred his heart out on my chest until it stopped. He then immediately demanded that I feed him. Apparently, according to my cat, my only reason for existing is to feed him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML
Today, my only day off this week, my cat decided that she wanted feeding at 5am and wouldn’t stop meowing till I filled up her bowl. She then refused to eat it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Cats are the kind of animals who would save a person’s life and then demand payment for doing so, so this line of behavior is entirely in line with how one would expect a cat to behave.
D J's MOM 17
he helped you first didn't he?
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Comments (6)
SamanthaThe1st 23
Well yeah, cats have a limited perception of humanity.
poopface82 25
Cats are the kind of animals who would save a person’s life and then demand payment for doing so, so this line of behavior is entirely in line with how one would expect a cat to behave.
D J's MOM 17
he helped you first didn't he?
Chazzster 32
Even human doctors and emergency workers expect to get paid. Your cat helped you somehow - Is that not worth being fed for?
Michael Sawyer 11
well to be fair to your cat. for/to HIM your entire existence IS to feed him.
IHaveThePower 18
Cat purring is at a frequency that helps their bodies heal, and they do it during stress or pain to alleviate it. He was trying to help you, and probably then got hungry. He does actually love you, cats are just kinda dumb.