Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I spent over an hour decorating my house for trick or treaters. I never got one person at my door because I forgot to unlock my gate. FML
Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
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Top comments
suboy 10
Was your light on???
gjortx 2
Well that sucks. At least you can eat the candy. My house got wiped out of all the candy by all the trick r treaters. Maybe next year.
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Comments (121)
laden_swallow09 35
Hope you took a picture; it'll last longer.
dessicakez 7
That's luck! Now all the candy is yours to eat
AnyaS 19
I'm really surprised at the comments concurring about how suckish/dead Halloween was this year. I guess it depends on your location, or Halloween was postponed to a later date due to Sandy. I'm in NC and got kids for over two hours and all the candy was given out.
kaileylovesyew 4
Don't see this as an ''FML'' see it more as a "my life is awesome because I have a load of candy all for me'' sorta thing!
_wraith 15
I live in a literal dead zone for trick-or-treaters. When I first moved where I am I was so excited for Halloween and we had absolutely NO one.
friscosoonerkid 3
More candy for you it looks like.
mowmowlife 21
That sounds really nice of you to do. I'm sorry it went to waste. Maybe you can volunteer at a kid's birthday party as a character for something?
doglover100 29
Was your porch light on?
mikeymuskrat89 4
If your in jersey then they'll come on Monday
vbmg152 19
That sucks, OP! You get an A for effort!