Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I spent over an hour decorating my house for trick or treaters. I never got one person at my door because I forgot to unlock my gate. FML
Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
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Top comments
suboy 10
Was your light on???
gjortx 2
Well that sucks. At least you can eat the candy. My house got wiped out of all the candy by all the trick r treaters. Maybe next year.
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Comments (121)
lambda_fml 40
Give them to the parrot.
supportcommand 17
Go ahead and give your dog a bunch of chocolate and let us know how it makes out.
perdix 31
First, billing yourself as Long Dong Silver gave everyone the Pedo Alert. Also, $30 of those peanut butter chews in black and orange wax paper still suck, regardless of how much you bought.
kriz_allizwell 6
Oh Sandy, you made me waste money on candy :(
SeedlessMe 13
Hah! That's so sad, but it still made me laugh.. :]
DURPINATOR3000 6
That's what you get for trying
Unicorn_Toes 4
Ah but the pirate and his parrot get all the booty now, seeing as no one else claimed it.
countryrose92 23
We went trick or treating. Out of 3 neighborhoods only 5-8 houses had lights on. I left a bowl of candy on my front porch, wasn't even touched. Halloween sucked.
fighterofwar 5
Lucky.
zombiekitten87 12
Maybe you live in a bad neighborhood? Either way that does suck.
saffy66 34
I'm in Australia where Halloween has only really taken off in the last few years. Last year I had tons of kids call so this year I bought heaps - and like the OP I was left holding the goodies. The worst part was, at least a dozen kids were door knocking on our street but they never crossed to our side.
VoiceMail 12
Like #45, last year my house had heaps of trick or treaters, and we ran out of candy, so I bought twice as much this year. We had half as many trick or treaters. xD ...Not that I mind, now I get to eat it. :'D