Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML
Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, while picking up dirty laundry I bolted up so fast that I broke my elbow. I sat in Urgent Care for 4 hours to be put in a sling at the same hospital I work at. I’m now stuck in a sling for who knows how long and it’s all because the towel rack impact was so hard it broke my elbow. FML
Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML
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Top comments
stolencookie 17
And yet you told the world...
BunBunBabe 8
Hahaha! Oh well, almost everyone wipes out from running in socks on a wood floor at one point in their life, it's so fun it's worth the risk
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Comments (123)
florido_fml 10
Stories like that are always excepted in fml
False_Stupidity 42
They are even accepted.
tarabelle 7
I don't know if I should laugh or wonder how the heck that happened :)
tarabelle 7
I meant picture. I couldn't decide if I should laugh or picture how this happened. No need to be so snippy...alright?
laden_swallow09 35
What, you can't do both?
lissa_jade 22
tell people you were involved in a high speed chase. no one has to know that you were outsmarted by a pair of socks.
DocBastard 40
This is why your mother told you not to run with scissors. If you had been, the doctors probably would have had to extract the scissors from a, uh, delicate place.
loopsy_fml 14
I thought of the children's song of monkeys when I read this. 10 little monkeys jumping on the bed! One fell off and broke his head! Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, "no more monkeys jumping on the bed!" 9 little monkeys jumping on the bed.......
kelsojww 0
Post it on FML is the best way to not tell anybody? Your a genius
WoolyWhoop 7
How many people will know exactly who the OP is? Genius.
Pentium_4 27
it's really not hard to know the difference between "your" and "you're" and you should definitely know the difference when you're trying to insult someone
Drowsiermoon 0
you know you could say you were foot drifting around the corner.
WaywardDaughter 26
It's the new trend
Dmeister2008 3
Just make up something and say you got scared and accidentally hit your elbow hard on a wall but in the future don't chase your cat in socks and listen to your doc about not telling people and when he means don't tell anyone don't post it online :)
laden_swallow09 35
Run-on Mode: Activated. Punctuation helps with comprehension.
fernclogger 5
Those are doctors orders
br0ccoli 15
Cat > you. Did you seriously think you would win at tag? In knee highs?
21jason 9
And your first thought was to post it on here?