Baustigt
Perth, Australia
Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
**** yeah! Gardening inspires the shit out of me! That happens all the time. I wake up like, "**** you, aphids! I'm coming for you. Do you hear that, weeds? That's the sound of me coming after your sorry asses! I'm gonna pull you so ******* hard." And then I realise that I don't have a garden and I get all sad and stuff. True story.
madelinebriana 11
Hey, at least you tried to tackle the job! Take a break and start back up later :)
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Comments (100)
madelinebriana 11
Hey, at least you tried to tackle the job! Take a break and start back up later :)
KeyboardWarrior 10
Gardens can be such pricks.
MattBC97 4
.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Aww shit... That wasn't meant to be a reply. Sorry for thread jacking... :l
boydeee01 7
You were #2 too. :p
KeyboardWarrior 10
I know... :(
starman02 12
LOL! I love the way you wrote that!
Cad6 24
Oh no, time for another nuclear war. Or rather, Weed War 3.
teague95 16
2 - Cacti can be even bigger pricks.
hsbballer 1
Im guessing your not mexican.......
Michaelsgirl04 9
4: unless you're Mexican that joke is not okay...I'm sure most people wont be offended but I'm also sure that someone will be -_-
jmaddlol13 7
How does one puncture his or her hand while gardening? Btw hsballer OP is from Australia.
marmlr339 14
If you've been to Australia, you would see what a tough climate it is. 90% of the country is desert. It is very hot, dry and there is an unbelievable amount of weeds and pest animals (snakes, spiders, drop bears).
jmaddlol13 7
I asked "how" I didn't ask what the climate was.
shannonreneee 11
How? Well because of the desert plants have to adapt to survive in dry conditions. They are lush and green like you would find in Europe. They're dry, hard and prickly. Prickly can cause punctures. Satisfied?
Link5794 18
Also, almost every living thing can kill you there, be it spiders, fish, or trees. Yes, trees. Eucalyptus trees have a tendency to explode under certain conditions, which can be met in Australia.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Explode? Well shit. I know what trees I'm not hiding under for shade.
ladyLALAA 29
57, I have never heard of exploding trees that is crazy if true. (googles) glad that my yard is mostly passionfruit vines. But if we don't mow our lawn enough we do get snakes and I live in the city so they really are everywhere.
shannonreneee 11
Eucalyptus don't explode mate. Grass trees can semi-explode when cause on fire but not really.
laughterislife 2
Now I'm scared of my own country.
ladyLALAA 29
Thanks 89, won't lie I was a little bit concerned upon reading that.
Jamialia 5
Those damn drop bears!!
C_A_M_E_R_O_N 0
KU is gonna lose to Ohio State
IDontKnow10101 14
fail, you're not even 3rd...
KeyboardWarrior 10
Gardens can be such pricks.
GawdamitNappa 4
I see what you did there.
teague95 16
So nice you had to post it twice
monkeysareyummy 0
I loved how OP said "nuke the shit out of some weeds".
Michaelsgirl04 9
I know how you feel op. I had to clear some stinging nettles out of my garden. Try getting some thicker gloves, wearing closed toe shoes, and jeans. You'll probably be really hot but maybe not as injured (:
K_kanaka 26
No biggy OP you'll do better next time.
DocBastard 40
**** yeah! Gardening inspires the shit out of me! That happens all the time. I wake up like, "**** you, aphids! I'm coming for you. Do you hear that, weeds? That's the sound of me coming after your sorry asses! I'm gonna pull you so ******* hard." And then I realise that I don't have a garden and I get all sad and stuff. True story.
Michaelsgirl04 9
I know you're being sarcastic but the gardener in me has to give you a tip...the aphid's natural preditor is the ladybug. So if you have aphids (we used to get them all over our roses) go buy some ladybugs, you'd be surprised how many nurserys carry them, and put them on the infested plant(s). There you go, my longwinded, mostly useless, random tip of the day
BlesstheSilence 11
You have officially made my shitty morning better! Thanks! :D
mattorama 15
You're going to pull them so ******* hard? It's landscaping, not a **** film!
RedPillSucks 33
It can be both! There's a George Carlin skit in there.... Replace all instances of "kill" with "****" OK Sheriff. I'm gonna **** you now... But I'm gonna **** you slow.
The_Troller 14
This reminds me of "guerilla gardening"
subversivefreak 2
Good tip..
asdfjklol 0
Im relativly new to fml whats OP?
kat2812 1
original poster, as in the person who wrote the fml. welcome.
DocBastard 40
Kat2812 is obviously confused. It stands for Oblong Poops. It's just a silly thing we call people around here. Welcome to FML!
THE_A_TEEN 28
The real defenition of OP is actually "Ordinary Pedophile".
starwind3438 9
It stands for Orangutan Pussy.
kooochris1995 14
Nahh. These people are lying to you. It stands for Old Penis.
micahsmommy 13
Obtuse Prick.
TheCaterpiller 6
Orange people ????
TheCaterpiller 6
Often paronomasia
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Ordinary Pickle.
zenagaserpent 0
Obtuse porpoise.
FirstTigerHobbes 13
How could be so mean to this newcomer? Lies, nothing but lies! OP= Overdue Period(s) Ex) Oh man, I hate OP!
JudgeTroll 6
OP : Obnoxious Protester. I got some OPs in front of Wall Street
PussyPredator 6
You're all wrong, it means Oozing Pancreas.
False_Stupidity 42
It actually means Ogling Pedophile
questionsarecool 10
No, it means obese people/person/persons. You decide!
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
Yeah those plants are pain enduceres
Michaelsgirl04 9
uhhh...inducers maybe? you were kinda close...
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
I never meant to post that, sorry. I tried to write something else but i typed it wrong.