Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
saintsrocksocks 10
Well somebody has to do it if you won't.
ChefPhilly 13
Maybe somebody isn't doing their job enough...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (265)
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Imagine if the husband got stuck in that position and had to go to the hospital.
Dixbfloppin 11
You know, they say 1 in every 300 men will attempt to suck their own dick.
robert76 5
I think the number is much higher than that.
br0ccoli 15
9 out of 10
slurshies 11
being able to suck your own rod is a valuable asset during feminine withdrawal
BadKitty13 28
Ewww .... Is that even Possible ????? That's just wrong on so many levels.......
phatdaddy62 23
Aww, c'mon now Kitty! All guys have tried it!
killer6969 16
Lolz that's hilarius
saintsrocksocks 10
.... I'm going to make this short an sweet. Go to 9gag if you're gonna spell like that.
stache67 2
Haha that's comedy!
Dmeister2008 3
Haha well since you don't do it for him I'd say go ahead dude no **** tho but YDI
brandon3747 16
That's a good reason
Chazyj 4
You would also need to take out 2 ribs
BobbieH 19
If you did it often enough and well enough he wouldn't bother trying to suck himself.