Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gs_fml 0
this is soo funny the OP is saying that they heard their mom talking on the phone talking about how paolo (maybe a boyfriend?) has a big penis, he's good in bed, and that the hotel sheet still remember it all. the OP is just saying that just cuz their mom is on the phone, it doesn't mean that no one could hear what she has to say.
killkillkill 0
lol whats paolo's last name
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (44)
patrickhb 0
ew.
luccamosart 0
dude I've seen this exact fml just with the name jeff
killerpenguin4 9
OP your mom is a *****
ImFrackinBored 13
O_____O
Soniye 14
Anyone else notice the sexual fmls are from France ? Anyone lol
killkillkill 0
lol whats paolo's last name
cockblocked 0
i don't get it
someone2me2 1
Alright so all you people who don't get it Do you all like mental pictures of your mum getting nailed by some guy with with an enormous ****? I'll take that as a yes
danielleeycakes 3
# 23, you're dumb. her mum was on the phone. she wasn't getting "nailed" by anyone at the moment.
Nonki 0
No you are dumb since you dont get 23's comment. It said mental pictures... Get it?
brand125 17
#30 = fail.
keego 0
ya. how is that an fml?
Gamergal 0
OP overhead her mom talking on the telephone about hooking up.
blinkingstarlet 15
lmfao FYL that sucks.
iiteddy 0
im srry i dont get it fyi this is at all not n FML...
KianaJeneth 0
how would u feel if u heard your mom having sex with a guy named Paola Orr whatever
dancer1103 2
It wasn't her mom having sex with Paolo, it was her mom describing the sex with Paolo.
Tdot36 5
You can't say it's not an fml if you don't get it..
Aviatrice_fml 0
hum this is the exact translation of a VDM (#117782)
ohxdang 0
i feel sorry for you.
MizzHollywood 0
FYL BUt who's paolo? Is he like your mom's boyfriend or something? Either way eeeewwww
chloe_morello 0
please explain?